


I Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend

by vjjeradicator



Series: Cursed Crack Smut [6]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Declarations Of Love, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian Sex, Smut, Strap-Ons, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:35:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28060053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vjjeradicator/pseuds/vjjeradicator
Summary: Charlotte and Cordelia take their relationship to the next level at a party
Relationships: Dr. Charlotte/Cordelia (Falsettos), Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Series: Cursed Crack Smut [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956364
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	I Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this was

Cordelia was currently standing in the kitchen, happily babbling away at one of her guests. See, she had gotten bored and decided to throw a party, and so far she was really enjoying it! Her best friend had disappeared to go check if anyone hot was going to show up, but she had pretty much expected that of him by now. Charlotte was staring down into the bottom of her cup, not really paying attention to Marvin. She glanced up from her drink to reply offhandedly to him, and... Wow. Cordelia looked beautiful tonight. Not gonna lie, Charlotte felt the tiniest bit giddy when Delia invited her to her party. She should probably say something to her, right? Cordelia felt eyes on her and turned, beaming when she saw it was Charlotte. God, she looked stunning as usual. She may or may not have a tiny crush on her. She gave her a small flirty wave before gesturing for her to come over. Charlotte blushed the tiniest tiniest bit when Cordelia waved her over, and grinned back. 

“Welp Marv, I’m gonna leave you to fend for yourself while I go speak to the host...” She ignored his protests and clapped him on the shoulder, making her way over to her. Honestly, Charlotte was thankful when the person ‘Delia was speaking to left when she approached. “Hey! Cool party.” Charlotte hated parties, but since she was the one hosting it, it had basically been the only one she had ever looked forward to going to. Cordelia managed to smile even wider when Charlotte came over to her.  
“Aww, thank you!” She said, gently patting her arm. “I’m a little surprised you showed up... but I’m really glad you did!”  
“Thanks, ‘Delia...” Was she flirting with her? Charlotte should probably make a move or something, right? She took another sip of beer and moved a little closer so she could hear Cordelia better. Well, that’s what Charlotte told herself anyways. “So... Where’s your partner in crime?” She was referring to Whizzer, of course.  
“Oh, Whizzer?” Cordelia asked, glancing around. She eventually spotted the twink in question, probably hitting on some guy at the drinks table. “I think he’s preoccupied with that guy...” she pointed to him, giggling softly. Charlotte’s eyes drifted from Cordelia to Whizzer- was that.... Marvin? She scoffed loudly.  
“That’s my friend actually, Marvin. Gotta be honest, I doubt Whizzer’s gonna get far with- “Aaaaand they were making out. Huh.” Charlotte’s eyes drifted back to her cup. “Well, if someone was gonna ‘charm’ Marvin, it was gonna be Whizzer...” Cordelia giggled again, returning her gaze to Charlotte.  
“Yep, no man can resist his charms...” she said, teetering on her feet slightly. “I’m kinda jealous, honestly. Not the man thing, the uh... being irresistible thing.”  
Charlotte looked up and raised an eyebrow. She thought she hadn’t drunk that much, but sober her wouldn’t ever in a million years reply, “Who says you’re not irresistible?” I mean, she was. It embarrassed Charlotte to no end, but Cordelia was just- irresistible to her. She was infatuating. 

Cordelia flushed a little at her words. Charlotte thought she was... irresistible?  
“Oh... you think so?” She asked, gently fixing her hair. She found herself moving closer to her, leaning towards her face.  
“Well, yeah” She said bluntly. “You’re great.” She suddenly realised that Cordelia had definitely gotten considerably closer. Oh shit. Charlotte decided to just fuck it. What’s the worst that could happen? She took a small step closer, tilting her head up and just- kissing her. Cordelia happily kissed back, putting her arms around the shorter woman and tangling her fingers in her hair. Her heart felt like it was being beat like a conga drum, but she didn’t care. She was kissing Charlotte. Charlotte. This was like a dream come true.  
This was almost... Better than Charlotte imagined. She was wearing some kind of flowery perfume, which smelled amazing, and some kind of- strawberry lip balm thing. Charlotte wrapped one of her arms around Cordelia’s waist, careful not to spill her drink. Cordelia moved closer to Charlotte, deepening their kiss. She could taste the beer that she had been drinking, along with her cherry chapstick. After a few moments, she leaned back to catch her breath, still hovering her face near hers. 

“Um.” Charlotte lightly bit the inside of her lower lip as she gave Cordelia a once over. “Do you maybe wanna.... Take this to the bedroom, or something?” Was she being too forward or something? Charlotte knew she had this tendency for being overly confident to cover up for how unconfident she felt- Cordelia turned a little red, but nodded despite this. She gently grabbed Charlotte's hand and led her upstairs, taking her to her room and closing the door.  
“You have no idea how many times I’ve had you in here and I just waited for you to make a move or something...” she admitted, looking at the ground shyly.  
“Well...” Charlotte moved forwards and gave her a small smile. “I wanted to. Badly.” She pulled Cordelia even closer, so their faces were mere inches apart. “Definitely should’ve sooner, looking back on it...”  
“I wish you did..” Cordelia said softly, leaning forwards so her lips brushed against Charlotte’s. “I remember just sitting together, and you had that look in your eyes, and I had put my hand between your thighs... I thought for sure that would’ve gotten you to do something.” Charlotte swallowed hard.  
“I didn’t want to come across as- I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been... Very patient.” She squeezed Cordelia’s hand gently, before leaning in to kiss her again. 

Cordelia happily kissed back, spinning them around before gently seating Charlotte on the bed. She climbed into her lap, moving to gently rub her back. Charlotte kissed her passionately, placing one hand on the small of her back, and the other high on the side of her thigh. This felt like some kind of- really nice dream. Cordelia was just... Perfect. Cordelia let out a soft whimper, pressing her body closer to Charlotte’s. This was even better than she had imagined, and trust me, she had spent a long find imagining it. Charlotte carefully pushed them over, so that Cordelia was lying back in the pillows and she was on top. God, the noises ‘Delia were making were just- amazing. Charlotte continued to kiss her, making her way towards her neck and biting it softly, before running a hand along her ribcage up her shirt, and resting it lightly below her bra strap. Cordelia whimpered again when Charlotte bit her neck. She felt herself get goosebumps when she dragged her hand up her side, lifting her head up to look at her.  
“You can touch me, Char. I want, no, need you to...” 

Charlotte hummed a little against her neck. “Mm- okay.” She carefully moved her hand further up ‘Delia’s body, softly groping and massaging her over her bra. She continued to do that for a little while, simultaneously kissing her collarbone, but she soon stopped, leaning back to quickly unbutton her shirt. Charlotte wanted to see as naked as possible. A blissful smile appeared on Cordelia’s face when Charlotte began rubbing her breast, attempting to lean into her touches. She looked up when her shirt got unbuttoned, instinctively moving to cover her chest. That was always one thing she had been rather insecure about  
“Hey.” Charlotte ahold of Cordelia’s hands, carefully peeling them away from her chest and pressing soft kisses to them. “You look beautiful, okay? You don’t have to hide, your body’s just-“ She sighed. “Perfect.” Cordelia gave Charlotte a sweet smile, her face getting dusted with pink at her words. She leaned up and gave her gentle peck on the lips before laying back down.  
“Well, if you think so...” She really valued her opinion, and hearing her say that she was beautiful and perfect was enough to make her almost believe it.  
“And I do, okay? You’re just,” She sighed. “Amazing.” Charlotte helped Cordelia remove the rest of her shirt, before leaning down to nip lightly at her shoulder. She lightly palmed the underside of ‘Delia’s breasts, before going to remove her bra. “Is this okay?” Cordelia wrapped her arms around Charlotte, gently tracing a finger up her spine.  
“Yeah, yeah it’s fine... Just please touch me.” She said gently, nodding her head a little. Charlotte leaned back, unhooking her bra and pulling it off. Damn.

“God Cordelia...” She could probably just get off on how hot she looked alone. Charlotte started to fondle her again, slowly and deliberately, taking her time. It felt good knowing ‘Delia needed her to touch her, and she wanted to stretch this out for as long as possible. She carefully ran her thumbs over her nipples, watching them grow hard, before leaning down to kiss her neck again. Cordelia softly whimpered when Charlotte began rubbing her nipples, gently tilting her head so she would have better access to her neck. She was so happy that they were finally, finally doing this. This was pretty much all she had wanted from the moment she befriended the shorter woman. Charlotte started making her way down her neck, moving down to kiss her breasts. She nipped at them lightly, still continuing to thumb at her nipples. She wanted to get Cordelia as worked up as possible before they did anything else. Cordelia continued letting out soft noises, moving to tangle her hands in Charlotte’s hair. She could already feel herself getting wet, just from this.  
“God, Charlotte...” she moaned out, gently pulling her hair. Charlotte hummed against her skin, slowly starting to kiss down her stomach. She poked her head up after a while, grabbing Cordelia’s hand and squeezing it, before starting to kiss further down her abdomen. Cordelia shut her eyes in bliss, grabbing onto Charlotte’s hand. She gently brought it up to her mouth and kissed it, wanting to at least do something to her. Charlotte kissed her stomach once more, and sat up. She pulled her own shirt over her head, and moved further down the bed to rest her hands lightly near the top of Cordelia’s skirt, tugging it lightly. 

“Do you want me to..?” She questioned softly, running a hand along the waistband. Cordelia opened one of her eyes, not-so-subtly ogling at Charlotte. God, she looked absolutely gorgeous. She nodded in response to her question.  
“Please..”  
Charlotte smiled a little, and deftly started to unzip her skirt, quickly pulling it off. She trailed a finger across her thighs and along her stomach, completely mesmerised by her. Charlotte snapped out of her stupor, and started to dip her fingers underneath her waistband, toying with it a little. Cordelia twitched slightly as Charlotte trailed a finger up her stomach, keeping her eyes on her the entire time. She felt a heat of anticipation flow to her nether regions when she moved to play with her panties, wanting her to touch her. Charlotte removed Cordelia’s underwear, discarding them on the ground with the rest of her clothes.  
“God ‘Delia,” She muttered, “You’re so wet...” She carefully started to stroke her, distributing the lubricant evenly before removing her finger from her folds. Cordelia gasped when Charlotte began rubbing her, before letting out a soft moan.  
“I-if you look under the bed, there’s a box of stuff we could use if you don’t just want to finger me or eat me out...” she told her, leaning up slightly.  
“Oh... Okay.” Charlotte moved back and reached under the bed, feeling around until she found the box. She pulled it out from under the bed and opened it, sighing a little. Jesus, she had... A big collection. “So... What do you want to use?”  
Cordelia hummed for a moment, going through her options in her head. “Hm... There’s a yellow vibrator in there that I really like using..” she told her, shifting her hips. “How about you pick something out? Surprise me!”  
“Hm, okay...” She glanced around the box, picking a few toys up, before deciding to go with the purple strap-on. She picked it up, showing it to ‘Delia. “Is this one okay? I just want to- I want to fuck you.”  
Cordelia nodded in response, letting out a soft moan at her words. “I’m more than okay with that...” she told her as she laid back down.  
“Okay, one sec...” Charlotte stood up, taking off her own pants and pulling on the harness. Right, okay. She climbed back on the bed, prying Cordelia’s legs apart and pressing the tip against her. God, she really did look so beautiful like this-  
“Oh fuck Marvin!-“ God fucking damn it.  
Cordelia closed her eyes in anticipation, before immediately snapping them back open at the sound of Whizzer’s loud moans in the other room. Unsurprising. She looked at Charlotte, clearly struggling to not burst out laughing at what just happened. Jesus fucking christ. Unsurprisingly, Whizzer’s loud moans weren’t exactly putting her in the mood, so she leaned over and banged on the wall.  
“Can you shut the fuck up?!” They both apparently, didn’t get the fucking memo. Fuck, she couldn’t hold it together. Cordelia immediately burst out laughing, finding the entire situation humorous.  
“I’m sorry-“ she said, gently rubbing her eyes. “The timing of everything was just...” she blew a chef’s kiss, still softly giggling. Charlotte started to laugh too, pulling back a bit.  
“God, they really are fucking dicks.” She said, giggling. Honestly, hearing their moans was kind of gross, but at least they had some kind of blackmail on them.  
“Yeah... We can make fun of them tomorrow, don’t worry.” Cordelia laughed before spreading her legs a bit wider. “Do you wanna continue or did they spoil the mood?” If she listened closely, she could hear Marvin telling Whizzer to be quiet, which was pretty funny.  
“Well, as long as they shut the fuck up from now on, i’m good if you are...” She leaned forwards and kissed ‘Delia’s jaw, before pulling back. God, those guys were totally in for it in the morning.  
“I’m good. I’m very good. God, I just want you to fuck me so bad-“ Cordelia groaned out, crossing her legs at her thighs to try and get some pleasure again. 

Charlotte hummed quietly and moved back between her legs. “ ‘M gonna make you feel so good, okay?” She grabbed her thighs and squeezed them a little, before pressing the dildo back against her and sliding in slowly. She watched her face carefully, looking for any signs of discomfort. Cordelia let out a long moan as Charlotte pushed the dildo into her. She stayed still as she let herself adjust before giving her a small nod, letting her know that she was good. Charlotte leaned down to kiss her, running her hands through her hair and rolling her hips a little faster. She just wanted ‘Delia to feel good. Cordelia happily kissed back, continuing to let out moans. She couldn’t help but feel a little bad because Charlotte wasn’t getting pleasured, besides maybe getting to watch her moan. Charlotte sighed and continued to kiss her, now starting to thrust particularly hard.  
“God, I love your moans...” She pulled back a bit, removing her hands from her thighs and running them over Cordelia’s nipples again, wanting to elicit more noises from her. Her words just encouraged Cordelia to be louder, although she was still being rather quiet. Charlotte rubbing her breasts just made her even louder, gently placing her hands on top of hers.  
“Do you like that?” She mumbled, pressing a kiss to her neck. She really did sound- just great. Everything about her was amazing. Charlotte still reckoned she could make Cordelia way louder, so to ‘warm her up’ she slid a hand between her legs, gently starting to stroke her clit to match her thrusts.  
“Mm... I love that. I love you. God, I love you so much.” She moaned out, her face turning red at her sudden confession. Well that was embarrassing. Cordelia groaned loudly when her clit got rubbed. “Fuck, please keep doing that, Charlotte, god-“  
Charlotte started to stroke her clit even faster. “God ‘Delia, I love you too, I-“ She grabbed one of Cordelia’s legs, throwing it over her shoulder and thrusting even deeper. The strap on wasn’t really doing much for Charlotte herself, only lightly rubbing against her clit every time she ground down. Charlotte saying that she loved her back was almost enough to make Cordelia climax.  
“I-I’m close-“ she told her, shutting her eyes again. God, after this she wanted to make Charlotte cum so hard that she couldn’t think straight.  
“Mm, cum for me baby-“ She leaned down to kiss her breasts again, humming quietly. Charlotte started to move as fast as she could, desperate to make her cum. Cordelia moaned loudly as she climaxed, feeling herself tighten around the dildo.  
“God, you’re so fucking good-“ she told her, panting softly. Charlotte continued to thrust into her, riding out her orgasm.  
“God, ‘Delia.” She pulled out and stopped touching her, panting a little and brushing the hair out of her face. At this point, Charlotte was so fucking turned on. 

Cordelia propped herself up, still trying to catch her breath.  
“Lay down...” she gently ordered, getting onto her feet. Charlotte nodded, her chest still heaving.  
“Um, okay...” Since she had no clue what Cordelia was gonna do to her, she kept the harness on. She just wanted to fucking cum, God-  
Cordelia carefully removed the harness, setting it aside so she could wash it later. She dug through her box before pulling out the aforementioned yellow vibrator, showing it to Charlotte.  
“Is this okay...?” She asked gently, rubbing her thigh. Charlotte sighed softly as she rubbed her thigh.  
“Yeah yeah- it’s good...” She really hoped Cordelia wouldn’t try to tease her or something. She was just- ready. Cordelia nodded, turning the vibrator on before slowly pushing it into Charlotte. She glanced up from what she was doing, trying to make sure she was doing alright. Charlotte moaned quietly, gripping onto the bed sheets. Jesus, ‘Delia had practically just pushed it in, and she was already so close.  
“God Cordelia-“ She raised her hips a little, pushing it in deeper. Cordelia groaned at Charlotte’s reaction, getting down onto her knees. She glanced up at her for a moment before leaning forwards and beginning to tongue at her clit, trying to send her over the edge. Charlotte groaned loudly, gripping onto Cordelia’s hair.  
“Fuck-“ She came pretty quickly, and it probably would’ve been embarrassing if it wasn’t for the fact that they were both a little drunk and Charlotte had to practically wait ages. She moaned loudly, letting ‘Delia ride out her orgasm. As soon as Charlotte climaxed, Cordelia removed the dildo and promptly replaced it with her tongue so she could lick up all of her squirt. She quickly swallowed all of it before sitting up, giving her a small smile.  
“You taste really good..” she laughed gently, kissing her cheek.  
Jesus. Cordelia was evidently a lot freakier than Charlotte thought she was. She hummed, not really responding but leaning in to kiss her again. God, that felt so good… 

Cordelia collapsed on the bed next to Charlotte, immediately cuddling up to her. She happily kissed her back, a smile on her face.  
“Mm... I love you so much..” she said softly, putting her arms around her.  
Charlotte hummed quietly, wrapping her arm around her.  
“I love you too...” She was pretty sure ‘Delia had to get up soon to kick out the other party guests, but for now she just wanted to enjoy this. Cordelia sighed, looking at Charlotte.  
“I have to kick people out but I don’t want to...” she mumbled, gently kissing her chest. Charlotte chuckled, stroking her arm.  
“Because you don’t want to get up, or because you’re afraid of confrontation and don’t want to yell at people?”  
“Eh, it’s a bit of both.” Cordelia shrugged, cuddling closer to her. “You’re warm and I don’t want to leave and I also hate yelling, so...” Charlotte chuckled.  
“It’s fine... If you want we can go kick them out together.” At this point in the night, she was pretty sure everyone had already left or passed out around the house. Cordelia nodded, sitting herself up. She lazily got herself dressed before turning to watch Charlotte do the same. God, she was just so gorgeous. They both quickly walked out of the room, kicking out all the guests that were still inside before heading back up. 

“What should we do with Whizzer and Marvin?” She asked, glancing over at the shorter woman. Charlotte sighed, and leaned against the banister. “I don’t know. I kind of don’t want to go into that room in case they’re still going at it.” She did not want to walk in on Marvin. Again. Cordelia giggled at her.  
“Valid.” She said, gently grabbing Charlotte’s hand. She had walked in on Whizzer too many times, and she really didn’t want to add to it. “We can always just embarrass them in the morning.” Charlotte grinned, and squeezed Cordelia’s hand a little.  
“Totally. We need to bring a video camera or something.” She wanted to film the horrified looks on their faces and cherish it forever. And show it to Mendel. Cordelia snorted, leading Charlotte back to her room.  
“Hell yeah! I bet Trina would love that.” She giggled, looking for something to wear to bed. Charlotte sat on the edge of her bed, rubbing her eyes. She was totally fucking exhausted.  
“I mean, who wouldn’t? At the same time though, I'm a little concerned about what we’ll walk in on tomorrow.”  
“Hm.. Probably both of them passed out, possibly covered in cum.” Cordelia shrugged as she changed before diving into bed. “Let’s go ahead and get some sleep. I wanna wake up before Whizzer, and I don’t know what kind of sleep schedule Marvin’s on.”  
“Ew, gross.” That was a terrible image she now had in her head. Charlotte pulled off her jeans, just deciding to sleep in her shirt. “Marvin goes to bed late and wakes up early. He’s hella fucked up.”  
Cordelia climbed under the sheets, making grabby hands at Charlotte.  
“That’s disgusting.” She said, laughing quietly. “I don’t know Marvin that well, but I absolutely hate that.” Charlotte climbed into bed, wrapping her arms around Cordelia.  
“I’m pretty sure the only reason he’s still alive is due to copious amounts of caffeine and pure spite.”  
Cordelia shut her eyes, cuddling up to Charlotte.  
“That’s... really sad.” She mumbled, feeling exhaustion take over her body.  
“Oh, totally. Marvin is in fact, totally sad.” She buried her face in ‘Delia’s hair, smiling softly and shutting her eyes. This whole situation had been- unexpected, but... So. Amazing.

Cordelia woke up at around 7 the next morning, groggily sitting herself up. She felt a body next to her, and immediately turned to see who it was. A smile spread to her face when she saw it was Charlotte.  
“Charlotte... Charlotte wake up.” She said gently, rubbing her side. Charlotte stirred a little, opening her eyes. Oh. She almost forgot about last night, and that she stayed over. She smiled up at Cordelia.  
“Good morning...” God, what time was it?  
“Morning, gorgeous.” Cordelia said happily, gently kissing Charlotte. “Ready to go embarrass the shit out of Whizzer and Marvin?” Charlotte’s smile became even wider.  
“Fuck. Yeah.” Dang, even in the morning, Cordelia really was beautiful. “Y’know, I really really wish I made a move earlier.”  
“Yeah.. I wish I had too.” Cordelia nodded, gently playing with her hair. “But at least, we can be together now?” She said hopefully, giving her a small smile. Charlotte grabbed her hand, kissing it softly.  
“Yes... I’d love that.” She really was so, so lucky. Cordelia was amazing. Cordelia immediately squealed, wrapping her arms around Charlotte.  
“Yay!! I’m gonna be the best girlfriend ever, just wait and see!” She said happily, kissing her shoulder. Charlotte laughed, the force of ‘Delia’s hug almost knocking her over.  
“I don’t doubt that you will, okay?” She pulled Cordelia’s face away from her shoulder, and kissed her again, running her hand through her hair. Cordelia happily kissed back, the smile never leaving her face. She eventually pulled away, needing to catch her breath.  
“C’mon, let’s get dressed. We have some homos to humiliate!” She said happily, giggling once again. Charlotte grinned at her, before untangling herself and standing up to get dressed.  
“God, they won’t know what’s hit them!” She turned back to ‘Delia, kissing her again. This was definitely the start of something amazing.


End file.
